Friday, January 20, 2012

More Tales from the Grocery Store: Trash Talk

Dear Grocery Shopper:

Thank-you for choosing our store for your shopping needs. We really and truly appreciate that you visit us and spend your hard-earned money. There is just one thing. Please take all your trash with you as you exit the store and parking lot.

I'm really happy that you took the time to compile a shopping list. But it has a limited reading audience. Trust me on this. It is not a best seller and never will be. STOP leaving them behind. I'm tired of taking them out of carts, picking them up off the floor and chasing after them in the parking lot. Just throw the damn thing away!

Printing flyers costs a lot of money. I'm glad you picked one up when you entered the store. But when you are finished, either put it back, throw it out, or take it with you.

Shopping carts are not trash cans. Below is a list of the most common items left behind:
  • Sani-wipes
  • Kleenex
  • Out-dated coupons
  • Sample cups
  • Napkins and toothpicks
  • Scratched-off lottery tickets
  • Empty cigarette packs
  • Candy wrappers
  • Beer bottles and cans
  • Empty chew tobacco cans
  • Water bottles
  • Toy wrappers
  • Receipts

The cart should be returned in the same condition upon entering the store: empty!

Please do not use the carts in the parking lot to clean out your car! And whomever left that king-sized, stained bed pillow in the cart a few months ago, well, that was just GROSS! We're not Goodwill. Old license plates, single mittens and gloves do not belong in grocery carts. If you fill a cooler with beer or soft drinks, do not leave the packaging in the cart. 

I'm glad you enjoyed your meal at McDonald's and Bo Jangles, etc., but the parking lot is not a garbage can. When you throw the used wrappers and bag outside the car door, things happen to it: like wind blowing it all over.

Speaking of fast meal joints, a science primer: a liquid is neither plastic nor paper. So when depositing drink containers in receptacles clearly marked "Plastic Only" or Paper Only" please empty them of whatever liquid remains in them. The only thing that is plastic on most soft drink cups is the lid and the straw. If it's a coffee cup, its just the lid. 

I know it's difficult to shop with children, but if you use the kiddie carts we provide, and if you feed your children while you shop, please clean up cookie crumbs, cracker crumbs, snotty tissues etc. from the cart before returning it.

Grocery carts are not cages. Leave your pets at home or in the car (someone once brought a rabbit!). This applies to humans. Please remove your children from the basket of the cart so we can fill them with your bags of groceries.

Spills and accidents are embarrassing. But please don't walk away from one if you created it. The quicker we can clean it up, the easier (and safer) it is on everybody. 

A store is no different than a home. That applies to you, guys, who work outside. Working boots covered with mud, clay, tar, grass belong outside, not inside. Don't make me tell your wives.

And to those few who think it cute to shop barefoot, you will be told to exit the building.

And, as always, leave your dirty, germ-infested recyclable bags at home.

Thank-you for shopping at our store.